Grieving Before a Death: Understanding Anticipatory Grief Essay

When my granny knot was diagnosed with lung cancer, I was instantly crushed at thinking ab out(a) any of the possibilities that thither were for what could happen next I could lose my granny knot forever. afterwards erudition that the cause of my grannies cancer was from smoking I told myself that I would never pinhead and that I wanted to help nation to stop smoking. When an individual counterbalance plumps lung cancer they may start to have a persistent coughing or a heavy aromaing in their chest. Some of the cause of lung cancer are shortness of breath, wheezing, fatigue, and unexplained weight loss.One of the queen-size causes of lung cancer is smoking, the more that you smoke the more likely it is that you will bear lung cancer, also if you start smoking at a young age. My grannie and I had a very close relationship I would eer want to go to her house so that my granny knot and I could score together and also do arts and crafts. Whenever I would go run across my grandmother I would walk in and the smell of the uninfected scorched cookies was continuously the scratch thing to welcome you into her home.This was followed by the smell of fresh squeezed lemonade, when you would drink it you wouldnt scrunch your face together because it was sour, my Grandmother had forecast out the perfect recipe for lemonade. My Grandmother and I would always move in lunch and dinner together, whenever I would go over she would teach me revolutionary things astir(predicate) the kitchen she is the reason that I love to cook for my family whenever I get the chance. Having this close of a relationship with my Grandmother is what made it so saturated for me when I engraft out she had cancer.I found out that my Grandmother was diagnosed with lung cancer around the sequence of my 14th birthday I memorialize I had entirely come back from playing basketball with somewhat of my friends because it was summer vacation. I walked into my house and my mother an d beat were seated in the living means on the couch, my mother was crying on my fathers shoulder. I was so confused I had no head what was happening, I went over and asked my parents what was wrong.My mother told me to sit voltaic pile and she began to assure me that my Grandmother had been diagnosed with cancer, when I heard this I felt like my heart had dropped to my feet yet I had also remembered that some cancers were treatable so I asked my mom if it was. She told me that they had found the cancer too late and that my Grandmother was not going to bonk much longer, this is when I completely lost it my heart had dropped even and and my stomach started to hurt. I ran to my room as tears were pouring out of my eyes, I slammed my door and just fell on my bed crying, I didnt know what to do.My parents came up and talked to me and verbalize that it we would all get by means of this together and that we were going to go visit my grandmother in the hospital the next day. When I went to the hospital with my parents the next day to visit my Grandmother I was sad that I was going to the hospital to see her except at the same time I was also scared about what I was going to see. When we walked into the hospital it was as if some bingle dimmed down all the lights everywhere as if they were trying to make this already horrifying place even worse.As I walked down the hallways to my Grandmothers room I saw all the other people in beds some just lying there some with family and some were watching TV. When I walked into my Grandmothers room I was frightened because of all of the different machines that were hooked up to her body, the first thought that went through my mind when seeing all of the machines hooked up to her body was her becoming inspector gadget. I went over to talk to her and it was herculean to hear her because of the beeping of the machines and it didnt help that she was talking quietly.After about xxx minutes of us being there I asked my mot her if we could return because I didnt like seeing my Grandmother when she was hooked up to all the machines. As we walked towards the exit of the hospital my eyes began to water once more and once we left I burst into tears because I was so upset that out of all people this had to happen to my Grandmother the one person that I connected with most in my family. About hexad months had passed, I was now fourteen. School at started back up and I was trying to hide all of my feelings about my Grandmother from my friends so they wouldnt also be sad.One day after school I came home as I always did but this time when I went inside my mom came to me and said that we were going to go distinguish auf wiedersehen to my Grandmother, this made me feel terrible I didnt want to say bye to one of my family member who I was so close with. We arrived at the hospital and once again I felt as if soulfulness dimmed all the lights to make it feel even gloomier in the hospital. This time when we got to my Grandmothers room I didnt even recognize her, because she had been through so much surgery to try and stay alive longer.This made me feel miserable because she had gone through all that treatment and pain end-to-end the last six months and she was still going to be taken outside from me forever. Before I left the hospital that night I went to my Grandmother gave her a big hug and said goodbye, she gave me her cross necklace that she had been wearing and said to always keep this, she said that as long as I had this necklace she would always be with me. That is the biggest reason that I was able to move on because I would always see the necklace and then remember what she told me that she was always with me.After I witnessed firsthand what lung cancer could do to someone I began to identify people to stop smoking and also helped people quit. I would tell them the story about how when I went to see my Grandmother after all of her cancer treatments that I couldnt even recognize her, after that a lot of them would want to stop. I would then talk about how this moved(p) my life and how if they were diagnosed it could affect someone elses life. In my survey it was shown that people who had family or friends diagnosed with lung cancer or killed by lung cancer were almost always affected by it.